oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
there was a trapeze. enough said
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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