Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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