I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
