Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
