you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
