woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
