They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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