I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
