I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
