no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
