i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
