i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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