I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Randomize