I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
