True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
