Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i drank out of a bidet.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
