Whod you bang
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
