i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
MIDGETS
????
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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