..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
