Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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