FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So much rum. So many feels.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
