I didn't shave. On purpose
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
