Have you finally orgasmed yet?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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