just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
