you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
