why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Found the puke drawer
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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