I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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