Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
COCAINE IS GR8
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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