Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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