I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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