So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
