You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
