I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
it was like having sex with a tree stump
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
