He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
