So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
