The maid of honor just puked.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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