Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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