Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
