I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
