I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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