period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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