Porn is love you can see.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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