Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
