I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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