If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
