I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Randomize
