I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
