Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
