**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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