you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
