Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
