Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
