we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
