Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
