So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
