He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
