just tell him i said nine months
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
