this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he shaved USA in his pubs
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
