are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
