So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
