Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
