Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize