how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize