Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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